Flickering lights

More of this.

Going and repeating,

Each boomerang is about to fly back

To remind me of my own foolishness.

A shoulder,

A hand and a face I could rely on

The kingdom of dream

Has sucked everything available,

No memories of that conversation 5 minutes ago.

Attempted conversations turn into ash

Being blown into your face.

Cutching the fist to save something

That has been torturing for about a year.

Not heard a word after 5-second eye contact,

Turn around and leave,

Hoping that the next eye contact would become longer.


a trip to fuzzy land

Fuzzy environment. I can’t sit straight, but at the same time I can hardly move. My brain is devoured by connections and combinations of different chemicals. And it feels good. I suddenly don’t have any problems whatsoever. Nothing sharp, just something giving in to inertia and moving in my head. steps can be heard anywhere, no matter where they come from.

Tranquility has taken over me and it doesn’t seem to want to let me go. Ans I’m fine with it.

I just want to stay in this fuzziness and calmness forever.

burn to be free

Terrifying turn around the corner. Rusty equipment stuck to old stone walls.

I have to turn. I am afraid. I’m scared of going towards “the change”.

I feel somebody grabbing my shoulder from behind and pushing me forward to make that bid step. I am resisting, screaming, biting, scratching… but there’s no other way around.

Right at the turn. There I am. I need that choice. If I go back – I’ll die, if I go forward – there’re too many uncertainties to handle. One thin line to step over…

The wall is horrifying all of me with its slippery mold on its surface. I’ve accidentally touched it. It smells like decomposed rubbish, or something of that sort. It feels utterly disgusting.

I am looking around to make myself adjusted. But… BAM! Someone has pushed me around that damned turn without any support or knowing what to do. While falling I’ve injured my wrist with the terror wall with mold, so now besides the nasty substance in my hand there is also blood.

And I’m still flying around there. It becomes very scary when out off all the voices I’ve heard before, mine was the only one that I heard and made.

Slowly plunging into something very dark and smooth. Intriguing, but frightening. I get up. I don’t recognize anything or anyone around me.I am alone. Alone and only for myself. I’ve found matches in my pocket, which were still functional.

I stood in the very middle of the biggest crowd, and lit the first match…

I observed it for a little, smiled at it, and let it go… More and more flame explosions opened and soon all area was embraced by fire.I was standing there, still in the middle of everything…and smiling.


Your face is shining on me. Your skin is the softest thing in the world. I want to teach you to fly, so that when you do, you will be slowly float in the air with flowers petals around you. But that will never be enough to feel your beauty, because when something is perfect it doesn’t need to be changed. You are perfection of perfections.

I want to have you all, but I’m afraid to touch the most fragile thing. Feeling from far away has given me strength to come closer. And now I am here, right in front of you. I bow before you, and you gently lift my chin with your tiny fingers. I get up; I see you. You move closer. I cannot move a single muscle of my body. One more step… And you kiss me… KISS ME. Heavenly feeling… Your lips have made me melt. And I really did. All that is left from me was the clearest water. 

I will evaporate and come back to you with the rain under which you’ll be standing. Every drop of me will touch your skin and make me happy.



It was a nice spring evening. Warm sun rays were tenderly touching the trees and buildings, light breeze was kindly stroking everything preparing it to go to sleep with the dusk. Peaceful time… And just basketball players were disrupting the beautiful silence. Piano notes from my speakers and comfortable pillow under my head – perfect set for relaxing during the working week. The head was slowly emptying out from the worries and bothering thoughts. I felt complete relief… Was it happiness?…

A story.

I was walking in a park one hot sunny day. The sky was perfectly clear. Just a small wind made the weather more pleasant. I sat on the bench, closed my eyes and enjoyed the perfect weather. After couple of minutes I decided to open them, and I’d never regretted doing it since that very moment.
There was an angel. Angel in a human form. Beautiful bright wavy red hair, perfectly white and gentle skin, and the most beautiful smile in the whole World. She was wearing a light summer dress in pale green squares. I couldn’t take my eyes of the most perfect body and face I have ever seen.
The girl was playing with her puppy; I could see the purest joy in the faces of both.
At that second I started believing in the love from the first sight, and I think anyone would if saw her.
I wanted to know her name, because I imagined it to be something as lovely as herself.
A single thought about making the first step towards her made me feel like I was chained to the bench. My heart started beating with an enormous speed, my hands were shaking, and I became just speechless; I had no idea what I’d say if I came up just like that to her, I felt like I just don’t deserve the attention of someone that perfect. Calming myself down was second hardest thing to do after coming there and talking to her. And I knew that I needed to do it fast, because she could leave at any moment.
When I just started feeling better and more confident, I saw a cute little puppy right at my feet. That was the second that has lasted forever for me. I was afraid to look up, and at the same time the desire to do it was killing me from the inside.
I decided to do it very slowly. Slowly looking up… And almost fainting from seeing the angel I’ve been looking at for the past half an hour. She looked even more perfect. I felt like stunned and just kept on looking at her. She smiled at me and said “I think Roger (the puppy) likes you. Do you mind if I sit down for a little?” All I could squeeze out of myself was a smile and a short “yes”. I kept on staring at her like an idiot, because for me it was just impossible not to. I think I looked like a serial maniac or someone like that because that look would creep anyone out. But not her… She just asked “Is everything ok, sir? You haven’t said anything so far, but are looking at me like there’s a lot that you would like to share.”
Finally. The moment of courage. I will speak to her. I will. I will! I opened my mouth and just let it be:
-I’ve been watching you from this bench all the time until you came here with your adorable little dog. I wanted to ask your name, but couldn’t do it for some time, because you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I thought I just don’t deserve to know you name, – I sighed. The most important part was said, although not like I planned. I poured it out all on her, I guess she’s afraid of me now. Oh, I am such an idiot! – she interrupted my speedy flow of thoughts:
-Oh… – she blushed – That is unexpected. Thank you, though. I have never heard something so sincere and all of a sudden. My name is Aille (AWE-leh). Celtic origins. It means “beauty”.
I sighed again. Now it was a sigh of relief. I did it! She told me her name. And I was right, it sounded as beautiful as herself. And her voice… No music needed, just her talking would make a perfect lullaby for a little child, so tender it was.
-Of course your name would mean something like that, – I said smiling, – My name is Einar. It’s Norse for “Lone warrior”. I tried to keep a calm face, but I hardly could; everything inside of me was slowly melting and I thought of myself like a shy school girl, which was kind of shameful for a 27-year-old man with a brilliant career and life.
And she was just smiling. I never got my eyes of her and talked to her on any possible topic for 2 or 3 hours, when I realized that she needed to go. I took her hands, and with eyes full of hope asked her:
-Will I see you again? I would very much love to have your company anywhere I or you would want to go.
She blushed again. “ Yes, I wouldn’t mind having your company either, and if I am there you wouldn’t be alone”, – She took a pen out of her little purse and wrote down some numbers on my hand. I did my best not to show that it was shaking so much.
-Well, good bye, Einar, – said she, – I hope to see you again.
I took her hand, kissed it, felt the most tender and gentle skin, looked into her eyes again, and said:
-See you again soon, Beauty.
We smiled to each other, and then she left with her puppy.
I stayed on the bench for a little more, and then went back home as well, drunk with happiness, thanking the Lord for this amazing day, and thinking what the next meeting could bring.