Drowning in hopelessness,

Hiding the pain inside;

Indicators are concealed,

But I see.

The weight on you is

Painful for both of us;

Every regret

Has it’s own scale,

Overflowing the jar

Of tears.

Two halves

Of different bodies

Are linked too much

To ignore the sensation.

The loss,

The disappointment,

The desperation-

All of it falls

Right into place

And dissppears

Upon skin contact

And soothing voice.

A moment or an eternity ,

The embrace is an escape.

Identifying as mirror;

Our scars

Match in every right place

Like puzzle pieces.

So precise it scares.

Shattered happiness,

Comfort of the hands,

Calmness at the fingertips,

Salvation in the presence;

I will be there to pick up the shards

And put them together,

Ignoring the cuts,

Holding the embrace.

Always there,

Always for you.


Gloomy city,

Distant fireworks;

This is not it,

Not the place I need to be.

Breaking into a million,

Lost in the crowds full of leather

And misplaced bows.

Searching for a resemblance,


As there is no feeling

That could ever come close.

Shutting my eyes,

Daydreaming of the transcendence,

The unity

That is missing

Right this second.

Deep red only strengthens

The inevitable feeling

Of loneliness.

The other half

Is missing,

Hidden behind

The abundant multicolored flags

And hundreds of nemeses.

Temporary measures,

Seconds turn to snails;

It never comes quickly enough.

Ethanol fumes numb the evening down,

A storm ahead gives hope

Of a quicker relief.

The french piano sounds become

More beautiful when covered

With salt crystals,

Yearning for a solution.

So little, so much left.

I know I can taste that smile

So soon,

The beautiful anxiety

Is full of cocoons

That are eager to release

Another lively rainbow

And make me better again.

The gloomy city

Full of leather and misplaced bows

Gives life to an old feeling

Being born all over again.

And I will witness the cocoons opening,

I will taste the happiness,

I will smell the love.

So little has passed,

So little is left.

Another forever will be behind,

And a new one will start.

A friend.

You are the center.

You are every celestial body

Looking down and blessing me

With your light.

My own deity

That I have brought up

To the pedestal.

I watched you ascend,

Admired you from the earth.

Your eyes were so full,

So full of love,

Making me ecstatic,

Giving me the hope

That you would smile at me again.

I was but a mere peasant,

Kneeling before the queen.

Nothing mattered

As long as I could be close;

So close to you,

But so far from the place

In your heart

Where I had longed to be for such a long time.

The distance between our souls

Was not as little

As I had desired,

But my soul was content

Knowing you were there,

Knowing you were safe.

His face…

My heart broke a million times,

As I witnessed your love

Directed at him.

Exploding with hatred,

I exhausted the sources

Of the negativity;

I wanted to hate more,

To disintegrate the feeling,

But seeing your eyes so full,

So full of love,

I could not hurt

What I cared about the most.

I saw the shining of

A thousand rainbows

Carefully embracing your skin.

And on that day,

On that special day

I observed the beauty

Exceeding that of everything

And everyone.

The hate dissipated.

I was happy to bless the union

That had been murdering me until now.

The wedding bouquet.

Your beautiful wedding bouquet

Was made of the flowers

I picked out of my heart

For you.

The moment when I decided

To remain a shadow

Until the end.

I gave you all of me.

I know that I will

Always remain;

I will always be there,

A shoulder to cry on,

A friend.

Always a friend.


Cold slowly crawling on my feet

Is eating the last bits of sadness;

I can’t feel my toes anymore.

I am happy to see you smile

When I spend my hours drinking my life away,

And waiting for it to be over.

I wish you saw,

I wish you could understand

That I need this,

I need it more than you see I do.

I wish I were transparent,

I wish you saw through me all the time,

Giving me the space

To detach myself

From you.


One moment –

An eye contact.

I forgot everything in the world.

Closer, closer, closer –

The smile got bigger and bigger.

With every new root

I bloomed more.

You grew into me

And I into you.

I felt lighter and stronger.

A careless mistake;

You started pulling

Yourself out of my soul

And body,

Bit by bit,

Taking pieces of me

Along the way.

I am an open wound,

But with not enough blood

To dry up and heal.

The pond is empty,

The water is still;

Only tiny ripples

As a reminder,

While I watch your back.

Sieving ash

One day i died.

Stung myself without looking,

Burned alive.

The fire did not last;

Not enough life force in me.

I quietly diminished

To a small pile of ash.

You accidentally stumbled

Across the remnants

And sat, sieving through,

Trying to find something.

But I know, what you are searching for

Is not there.

I have given it to you

Long time ago

And never asked

For it back.

You can keep it if you like,

It will not make any difference




I woke up

Not knowing where I was;

Breathing in the fog

That creeped over the ground

And me.

Is this real?

The sunshine is too far,

And I can feel

My bones shrinking in the cold,

Surrounded by fire-breathing trees.

I am still, yet moving,

Clueless about the direction.

A hand on my shoulder;

I know it is you

Without turning around.

I do not know where I am,

But I know where the fog is leading me;

Your touch helped me stay alive

And take the first step.