Thoughts about every day stuff

Just my flow of thoughts

Snow bots and feeling homeless


Today is fukken freezing! Nanobots of snow are flying around and planting themselves on everything they can get, leaving ice on surfaces and eating up to the bones.  I almost got my hands fallen off when I was switching the songs on the phone. Time to get some proper gloves…

And now, more excitement about the upcoming long weekend! Except for the fact that I don’t have any because apparently (thanks to my landlady) I don’t have a place to stay during these 3 days. Yaay. Now I’m desperately looking through my contacts list to find someone kind enough to help me out. I think, I’ll end up going to couchsurfing and just randomly clicking on people who can host 😀 That’s gonna be an exciting process.

Apart from the evil-plotting snow bots and the chance of me sleeping outside everything’s been going alright. I’m getting ready for a business trip to Karaganda next week and am kind of nervous about it because this is going to be my first business trip and I have to be awesome. 2 days of stress in our local inpatient facility and I’ll be done with it 🙂 Only 2 days, so that makes it not so bad.

Yesterday I counted the number of poems that I have collecterd since the first book got published. 41 poem! And 38 of them are going to get published as soon as I figure out what I want on the cover and find a person who can help me with it (the artist who was going to help is waay to busy with his full-time job and I can’t ask him to stress about my tiny book). I’m thinking of a cover that doesn’t have too much on it, but somehow depicts  the stuff written on the inside. My brain is empty and I feel soooo not artsy-fartsy because I can’t even think of anything right now. But I’m sure I’ll get there.

Moving forward. Trying not to freeze. Making myself stay positive.

Rainy view from the 17th floor


Grey morning…

It was raining so hard I could feel the raindrops hitting my hiking sneakers. Messy hair, a hood to protect the headphones and music to make the walk to work better than it is – typical morning for me.

It’s going to snow soon, I think. I can’t wait for it, and at the same time I don’t want winter to start because I’m not used to the hardcore freezer temperatures. I’m not ready for -30 C after mild winters in Europe :((((

This week we have 6 days to work instead of 5, and then 3 days off in a row because of the big muslim holiday. Honestly, I have no idea what I’ll be doing during these 3 days. Boredom is just going to eat me and I’ll happily (well, relatively happily) drag myself to work on wednesday.

The general plan is to sleep as much as I freaking can and do my best not to strangle the little drama queen that I share the room with, because if I do, I’ll have to kill her mom too and disappear from the country.

Yeah, not the best thoughts in th first half of the working day.

Group translations, foggy view from the window, and heater working on full power in the office – and first half of the working day is almost over. More brain consuming stuff to come. More excitement about the upcoming 3-day weekend. More hours of life lived.

Stay tuned. Peace.

Little things


Sometimes you look outside the window and see it.

Everything around is as ugly as it can ever get: that mixture of construction sites and shiny polished ‘wannabe skysrapers’. All of that makes me want to turn my guts inside out; and yet there’s something about it. Something fascinating, something that makes me like looking at city lights at night from the window.

Sometimes I find it interesting to watch the fight of ash dark thunder sky and mottled building roofs; fierce clouds  act like they want to devour rooftops, rain drains from them like saliva of a hungry animal, and the mighty roar echoes in the most remote corners of this overfilled land.

My brain is constantly struggling between sending everything to hell and falling down from the 14th floor facing the roadway, and peacefully contemplating the flickering lights of Baiterek. What’s making the struggle keep on? Why haven’t I already made a choice in favor of the roadway? Who the ff*** knows.

Those little things… the little things that make me want to forget that I hate it all; ones that make me want to forget about the self-destruct process that was initialized long ago, and even if I still remember about it, they make me want to push the ‘pause’ button.

I’ve started noticing small details that enchant me; they give me thoughts that I later turn into poems, or that make me frozen for half of the day. They leave a strange aftertaste, and I still can’t understand what it is. Something elusive, something addictive, something that keeps me puzzled. Hell, I’m always puzzled. Always.

The city of empty costumes, or stuff that makes me wanna translate till I drop


Interesting things are happening around me. I’m extremely lucky to find racist people, weird landlords, and taxi drivers with a good sense of humor 🙂

First, when I started looking for a new place to stay, I got hundreds of phone numbers to call. 6 out of 10 dropped the call as soon as they found out that I wasn’t Kazakh. The rest told me that they need someone urgently (and I couldn’t more in right away due to financial issues and needed to wait until the begining of August), and couldn’t wait. Awesome.

Over the past 2 weeks I had to go to the right bank a lot (last week – workhop) and I ended up coming back late, so I took a cab on my way back almost every time that happened. Almost all the drivers were fun people who started either talking about Astana, or just making witty remarks on everyday mundane life. The jokes were old, but somehow it felt good hearing them, for a moment there they made me feel like I didn’t live in such a rotten place.

And yeah, I finally got my working contract with out project director’s signature on it. I was actually surprised to see a year-long contract, because the administration told me they’d hire me for 3 test months and we’d have only a 3-month long contract first. And there I sat and read that the contract expiration date is in a year; and it made me feel like I can translate 24/7, 365 days a week. Good way of motivating your worker to work till late; good job, ‘company_name’, good job.

About the right bank… Last night I went to visit a friend of mine because she felt lonely in the big apartment where she temporarily lived. The apartment was kind of cozy, with a small kitchen and a ‘good old Soviet view from the window’. Haven’t had a nice girly talk in a homely atmosphere for a long time.

The most interesting part was getting to work next morning. Catching a taxi was one thing; the traffic jams were something that I will never forget, because that’s when I realized that I won’t ever look for a place to live on the right bank. Well, as I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m lucky to meet fun taxi drivers, sdo the one from today morning wasn’t an exception. 2 girls discussing cars and automobile taxes in Kazakhstan with a middle-aged man, who complained about his wife’s shopping addiction in breaks between the traffic lights 😀

As I look at all that it makes me wonder why the ff*** I’m doing in this city, because I could have had a much calmer life back home. But then, I get to work, and I stop thinking about it because this work takes almost all of my freaking time!!!

Hah, well, let the Gods bless my job and my survival in the city or empty costumes; everything else I can do on my own.

Routine days and the week of weight loss


So…

It’s my 4th week living in Astana and I still don’t know how to feel about it.

The job itself is amazing, but the amounts of it are killing me sometimes.

I’ve lost a little more weight over the past week, because we had a week long workshop on health economics. So much new terminology and so many new people… 8 hours of verbal translation a day + written translations – overwhelming! I don’t think I’d have gotten such a valuable experience anywhere else. At least now I have a general understanding of what people from MoH and CS are, and how they work. At the end of the workshop the consultant who I translated for, told me that after all that I need a certificate too, because I ended up expleining methods of economic evaluation and budget impat analysis to the CS people 😀

So, if anyone ever wants to lose weight – become a full-time translator/interpreter! That surely helps you stop eating (just because you don’t have time for it) and the kilograms don’t just go away, they drain from you along with the nerves and good mood…

Oh, what am I talking about? Really, I complain too much. The job is really exciting, and even though I’m going to leave all of my nervous system over here, I still like it.

The weather in Astana is even weirder than in Karaganda; here it changes within minutes! And the wind… The wind is kinda nice, because if it weren’t here, I’d choke in all the car fumes (the number of cars in this city is unimaginable).

Another great thing about this city is that I’ve met new people, and they seem very nice. An interesting fact: out of the people I hang out with, there isn’t a single local person 😀 Well, as we know, there aren’t almost any ‘locals’ in Astana anyway…

Work-home, work-home, work-home – that’s my plan for almost every day. And even though I might complain about it, there’s nothing better to do here anyway, and it’s not even so bad 😀

I need to look at things more positively. I really do. I’ve got to punch myself in the face and start at least smiling to people, because most of the time I look like I’ll be planting a bomb somewhere, and my face looks scared and angry (or, in some cases I look like I’ve just defused one :D).

I need more positive shit in here! Just a little more.

Finally weekend?…


I was craving rest during all the working week. And now I finally have free time and  I can’t even enjoy it.

Everything’s too dull. Nothing to do.

This is such a lonely city. Sitting in the apartment and waiting for a call from work is the best option I got at the moment.  They told me they’d call because I’d need to work  on some modifications in the afternoon. And now this is the most exciting thing to happen for the whole day.

If I didn’t have music coming out of my earphones, I’d probably die from boredom.

The only thing left to do is browse aimlessly until I get some work to do.

Awesome weekend is awesome. Yeah…

Fighting the nature


My head feels like it’s being held by someone’s huge hands, and these hands are pressing on it so hard that I”m about to faint.

My brain is a car prepared for disposal, and the atmosphere pressure is the jaws pressing on it stronger and stronger with every minute.

A working day ahead, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to survive it all.

I really hope I feel better at least by lunch break, because I’m afraid I”ll either turn inside out, or faint (and then turn inside out).

Being sensitive to atmosphere pressure changes is one of the biggest problems I’ve had.

Whyyyy aren’t there ways to be less sensitive to that?

I don’t know how much coffee I”ll need to drink  before it all stabilizes. Well, challenge accepted. Let’s start the struggle.

Here I come, biatch.

Biggest achievement of the day, or ‘Haven’t been there for a while’


Days are going by, and nothing is happening. I still don’t have a full-time job, I spend most of my time home browsing and chatting with people. My biggest achievement of the day is another temporary job for 1 day on Monday 😀 And it’s an interpreter position again.

I’ve been lucky to find temporary translating/interpreting jobs lately… I’ll be working with representatives from Singapore universities.  6 hours of interpreting and consulting will result in tired feet and some money. I wish I had a full-time job like that…

Today I also visited my former colleague from “Company_name”, where I worked in April/May, in a hospital. She’s doing better than I thought, and I’m very glad about it. We talked about lots of stuff, about work, people I met. It was nice talking to her again, I gotta visit her next week if I have time. Before visiting her, I went to to my old workplace and said hi to everybody. Everyone’s been nice to me; those people totally know how to make me smile 😛

Overall, everything has been fine, except for nostalgic outbursts from time to time. I really need to get a job so that I can have something distracting me 😀

Right now I have my youngest brother next to me, watching an old Russian cartoon. I wish he was less expressive and loud right now, because I think my ears are going to explode soon…

Today’s mood – “Waiting for a miracle”

A trip to Astana and Astana Economic Forum (late post)


I haven’t written anything here for a while… I was supposed to update day after day after my arrival to the capital. But oh well…

I had a great time and almost no free minutes to write…

On the 19th of May I went to Astana for the Astana Economic Forum. I also wanted to look for jobs before the forum itself, so I had time.

Everybody was instructed about the delegates and the events, and after that I went around for job interviews. Whole 2 days I was walking around the city,taking different buses, getting lost countless times before I found the offices. None of the companies had anything good for the moment (I might go to the capital in couple months to check on one of them though). But that all wasn’t the worse part. During the interview days (2 days) I got horrible blisters on my feet and could hardly walk. the day before my delegate’s arrival I realized that my right foot was so swollen that I couldn’t put on any shoes. I got extremely scared and started browsing about that (yes, browsing about stuff you don’t know without going to a doctor is kinda stupid, but it saved me after all). The stuff people wrote scared me even more, so I ran to a pharmacy. The pharmacist confirmed everything from the internet, and gave me 2 kinds of cream, antibiotics, and special bandages. I had 30 hours until the delegate’s plane was supposed to land, so I put all my force and super-powers to get my feet better. And oh, miracle! 24 hours were enough to make it all better. I was even able to put on the suiting shoes on heels to go meet the delegate.

As I was saying, browsing about the issue saved my feet and me 🙂 Now, moving to the Forum itself…

I worked as a coordinator/translator on Astana Economic Forum. I was put to help a delegate from Switzerland. Italian Swiss man from UBS. Dr. Massimiliano Castelli, or Max (that’s how he asked me to call him) came for the World Anticrisis Conference.

I was afraid that he could’ve been some excessively demanding angry person, but after I met him, the fears passed. He ended up being a great person to talk to accompany and talk to. I was trying to do my best to be a good coordinator, and I think I did a good job 🙂

During the panel sessions I was watching every speaker closely, trying to evaluate them like we did it on prof. Cohen’s Public Speaking at AUBG. It was really fun; there were both bad and good speakers. My delegate was a great public speaker, too. He was giving a speech on the situation of the markets. Listening to his speech was nice, it’s a pity no one asked additional questions, because I’d have loved to hear him more.

During the first conference day I met many interesting people like advisers to the governmental big shots, world famous politicians and economists.

Two most interesting guests of the forum who I met on a big dinner after the first day of the anti-crisis conference were Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Edward Luttwak. Those people truly left me surprised but smiling (and laughing, too), I still can’t forget the talks we had there 😀

People joking about economic stuff, arguing about wine, people in Kazakhstan, and the organization flaws of the forum… All that made me feel really great.

Although, I think I had a little bit too much of discussions on the topics of World Economy and anti-crisis measures during those 2 days.

The driver that we had during the forum was a very nice man as well. Calm, kind, and generous man with a good sense of humor. I think, he was the best driver that we could have.

After I saw my delegate off, I felt kind of sad. The forum had taken all my mind and realizing that it was over went a little hard on me. I really wanted it to continue for another week at least, just until I’d fall dead from being tired 😀

After coming back to Karaganda, I found out that people saw me on TV 😀

That was kind of expected, because there were at least 5 tv-channels shooting everything and everyone, but still, very nice to hear 🙂

Entering surroundings like that made me very distracted from what’s going on in the country and in my hometown. So, the first 2 days after my arrival home I had to get used again 😀

But, it was totally worth it, and I really hope I can find more events like that to work on.

Last working day.


My last working day at “Company_Name”! Only several hours left until the working contract gets interrupted.

It feels kind of weird, because I got so much used to everyone here and I’m even gonna miss some people.

The worst thing is that I won’t be able to closely monitor the Giggle Cloud dispersal and influence, and my telepathic abilities won’t be able to improve. But oh well, I can take notes from time to time anyway and train my brain myself.

Our CEO took us to a restaurant today, everyone was saying goodbye and wishing me all the best. That was sweet, but I’d never expect the boss to do that just because I’m leaving the company.

Right now I’ll be going to a supermarket and buy a small simple cake to have a tea-party 😛

End of the working day promises to be sad but relieving.

Let’s see how it goes and smile ahead 🙂