anger

Let me in


Scar after scar,
Word after word,
I keep trying to get up
From the knees you put me on.
Your screaming becomes muted,
I see your lips moving,
Those mad eyes
Drilling me and draining my energy.
I thought you hated me.
But after looking inside
All I saw was a child,
A child terrified of failure,
Hiding behind the anger,
Anger that is destroying us both.
Give me your hand.
Break the field of hatred,
And let yourself trust me.
There is always time to change who you are,
Just
Let.
Me.
In.

Radiating grin


Metaphors of happiness

Are nothing but letters

Written on the life scenario sheets.

My pages are full of smudges and blurs.

You keep on throwing

Your recited smiles at me,

Choking me in images of your radiating grin.

Wordy gusts catch me at my back

When I’m trying to escape

Your ever-so-nice face.

I can see your eyes shine

At the sight of my sadness.

Time will come,

And you will stop smiling.

Eyes will turn into dull crystals,

Mouth will no longer show the revolting grin

Of the staged niceness.

Angry hockey talks


Watching the higher league hockey game. Saryarka (Karaganda, KZ) vs Toros (Neftekamsk, RU). KZ tam is losing 0:2.

So many amazing moments to score… and NO.

Going ahead…. aaaaaand there’s no score. CRAAAAAP!!!!!

No words. Really. None. Just me being angry and my dad being even more angry; both of us are sitting with totally disappointed faces in front of the TV. I’m somehow glad that I’m not watching this game in the center of the city on the big screen, that way the disappointment would’ve been even worse. 2 out of 3 thirds are already done, and the score is still sooooo ugly.

They’re giving interviews about hard game, strong opponents… Ah, bullshit! They can play better, they have before with the very same team.

I hope the couch gives them a good kick in the nuts while there’s a break before the 3rd period. Gotta make some more coffee; I’m not sure I have enough energy to scream more.

Peace.