The day I stopped existing

Was the same as others;

Wet streets,

Grey stretched across the city,

Hours before the sunrise.

Like an empty corn husk,

Discarded and left to rot

In the dirt,

I prayed to all the gods and demons

For it to be the last time;

Too many times I had spent

Tumbling between hell and earth.

Questionable angels never look

For any reasons not to pull me out,

And I am always returned

To where I have started.


I have found a beautiful clear lake,

Secluded and lonely,

Just like me.

It can hide me from the angels

And help me remain.

The feeling of this unlikely friendship

Gives me hope,

That this time

I will succeed.


The liquid mind

Cannot get through the keyhole;

It traps me inside the room.

I am surrounded by water;

Trying to come to terms

With the annihilated past

And the acid tears

That weren’t mine.

I am an iceberg

And my melted heart

Is sinking this Titanic

With you

And everybody else on board.

It’s getting cold;

My eyes are closing on their own,

Not giving me a chance to understand.

I go under.

I will remain,

Creating ripples on the water surface,

Melting the last of it,

The last of me.

Too late anyway

Don’t go away,

It’s too dark here;

I’m scared.

The shield is down –

I can’t protect myself anymore.

Unseen forces ramble in needles,

Throwing them around

Like Halloween candy.

Yielding shapes keep convoluting

The soft lung tissue.


I’m going up from the bottom.

Not swimming.

Floating up;

Just for the corpse to show on the surface.

You can leave.

It’s alright. Too late anyway.

Pull me up

Glittering waterfall of your sadness

Engulfs me till I can’t breath.

Your hands are directed at me,

But I can’t pull you up.

I can’t see the tears,

But I can feel them moving me further away.

I’m losing the touch,

Brain storage is getting empty;

Only a weak bell echo is left wandering

Around the corridors  of my memory.

Pull me up. I don’t want to drown

In the sadness that isn’t mine.