Too. Much.

I detach your smile from myself.

The sunlight of yesterday is falling out

Of the eyes wet from tears.

Swinging left and right, back and forth…

It’s making me light-headed.

Drums in the head are beating the rhythm of your steps

As you come closer;

I’m convulsively searching for the words to say,

But the play room of my brain is in too big of a mess

To find the right mask.

I get lost. 

So insecure.

Nothing to hide behind.

You see me as I am,

Silently staring at you in confusion.

I lost. The layer is down.

Too. Much. Of. Me.



Falling apart

My heart is beating harder than ever. I feel it breaking my chest with every beat. I look at my life and realize that I haven’t done anything that would make someone feel good. I only destroy and complicate everything and everyone around me. And, without noticing it, I destroy myself little by little. I smile, I laugh, I cry… It doesn’t matter what I do. A little of me is dying with any emotion, because my soul isn’t happy about anything anymore. I’m not heartless anymore, I’m able to feel things I couldn’t feel some time ago. But now I feel only pain and sorrow. Soon I’ll b grieving on my own heart’s grave if nothing miraculously appears or happens to fix me. I keep on existing and falling apart with every smile, or tear.