heartbeat

Just a dream


Everything I have ever known

Flipped upside down in a second,

Not giving me time to adjust…

…when I saw her.

Effusing the elusive light,

Collaring me and all of my insides,

Immobilizing my being,

She made me regret

Every decision that had led me

To that moment,

And yet I was bursting

With inexplicable ecstasy.

Those thin wrists had so much

Power over me.

I was ready to drown in the abysmal wells

Of her eyes

Over and over again.

The stare made me weak,

For a second

I thought I heard her heartbeat;

So calm.

Her lips moved.

One, two, three more seconds

And she stepped forward.

Forward to the rails.

A train. A hit.

Silence.

White dress covered in blood,

Beautiful face with eyes wide open.

They were still staring into me.

I snap my eyes shut.

I am not there anymore.

I am strapped to a therapy bed.

I hear the blurry “Increase the voltage”

And feel my insides being twisted again.

Just a dream. Please, come back to me.

I do not wish to wake up.

 

 

 

 

 

Smudge of paint


It’s become too late.

Too late for you;

Too late for me.

But my brain keeps painting

Possible pictures

With watercolors of impulses.

Nothing hurts more

Than taking yourself out

Of the naive sentimentalily

That had been in charge until now.

Time doesn’t exist.

Hearbeats are fictional.

Breathing is pretentious.

Life is nothing but

A smudge of paint.