loss

Forever in my mind and heart, 24.11.2014


A rainy november day,

Air stuck in my throat;

Tears flowing down the face

Are not letting me breathe.

A mixture of smoke and steam

Numbs the scorching pain

That burns the insides

As I try to say my last goodbye.

Weary eyes and the kindest wrinkles

Are covering the pale made-up face;

This face will remain,

And your young self

Will keep coming to my dreams.

My first friend and support,

The one who understood and listened.

Another winter is covering the earth with ice,

And I welcome you every time

Even though I know you are never coming back.

Forever in my mind and heart

You will stay,

And make me proud to be your blood.

 

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Defeat


The danger.
Every time you blink it is closer.
I am trying to find you amongst the screaming winds,
But you are silent.
Not asking for help?
Are you not afraid?..
I feel its steps;
They make the mountains shake,
And you are in the middle.
Your eyes are looking through me,
Not seeking salvation
As you do not see any.
I wait patiently
For a last call,
For a hand reaching out.
You stand still,
Waiting to be anihilated.
Nullified.
As if you do not wish to exist.
There are no gunshots and explosions,
This is not a war you have seen,
But one you are about to loose.
It will come when you seclude yourself,
And drown you in every unspoken word of yours.
Before you realise it
The door will be shut.
And I will remain on top of that mountain
Deaf to my own screams of regret.

Slideshows


Watching slideshows of your smile

I am trying to scrape the remnants of you

Out of myself.

Our tragic reunion

Has killed the last bits

Of both of us.

Sound of the wind touching your hair

Makes me melt,

But the volcano has cooled down.

Your voice is a crying cello

That brings peace to my ears.

Look hear, my dear;

So much time has passed

That I can hardly remember your face,

But you are still haunting me.

I have been holding the door open

For you to leave,

But the curve of your lips

Is still pouring rains of nostalgic foolishness on me.

Time to light it up.

Bring me the matches.

I will burn the slides,

The whole memory room;

We will be watching ourselves disappear

And turn to embers.