love

Always


Drowning in hopelessness,

Hiding the pain inside;

Indicators are concealed,

But I see.

The weight on you is

Painful for both of us;

Every regret

Has it’s own scale,

Overflowing the jar

Of tears.

Two halves

Of different bodies

Are linked too much

To ignore the sensation.

The loss,

The disappointment,

The desperation-

All of it falls

Right into place

And dissppears

Upon skin contact

And soothing voice.

A moment or an eternity ,

The embrace is an escape.

Identifying as mirror;

Our scars

Match in every right place

Like puzzle pieces.

So precise it scares.

Shattered happiness,

Comfort of the hands,

Calmness at the fingertips,

Salvation in the presence;

I will be there to pick up the shards

And put them together,

Ignoring the cuts,

Holding the embrace.

Always there,

Always for you.

A friend.


You are the center.

You are every celestial body

Looking down and blessing me

With your light.

My own deity

That I have brought up

To the pedestal.

I watched you ascend,

Admired you from the earth.

Your eyes were so full,

So full of love,

Making me ecstatic,

Giving me the hope

That you would smile at me again.

I was but a mere peasant,

Kneeling before the queen.

Nothing mattered

As long as I could be close;

So close to you,

But so far from the place

In your heart

Where I had longed to be for such a long time.

The distance between our souls

Was not as little

As I had desired,

But my soul was content

Knowing you were there,

Knowing you were safe.

His face…

My heart broke a million times,

As I witnessed your love

Directed at him.

Exploding with hatred,

I exhausted the sources

Of the negativity;

I wanted to hate more,

To disintegrate the feeling,

But seeing your eyes so full,

So full of love,

I could not hurt

What I cared about the most.

I saw the shining of

A thousand rainbows

Carefully embracing your skin.

And on that day,

On that special day

I observed the beauty

Exceeding that of everything

And everyone.

The hate dissipated.

I was happy to bless the union

That had been murdering me until now.

The wedding bouquet.

Your beautiful wedding bouquet

Was made of the flowers

I picked out of my heart

For you.

The moment when I decided

To remain a shadow

Until the end.

I gave you all of me.

I know that I will

Always remain;

I will always be there,

A shoulder to cry on,

A friend.

Always a friend.

Pond


One moment –

An eye contact.

I forgot everything in the world.

Closer, closer, closer –

The smile got bigger and bigger.

With every new root

I bloomed more.

You grew into me

And I into you.

I felt lighter and stronger.

A careless mistake;

You started pulling

Yourself out of my soul

And body,

Bit by bit,

Taking pieces of me

Along the way.

I am an open wound,

But with not enough blood

To dry up and heal.

The pond is empty,

The water is still;

Only tiny ripples

As a reminder,

While I watch your back.

Little death


Silence in a room

With dimmed lights,

Every blink

Can be heard.

Every button torn

Of the shirt

Throws echoes

Against the empty walls.

Hot lips

Heat up the skin,

Waking up the feeling

Just a little

Below the stomach.

Inhale.

Shaking limbs

Are hard to control;

Holding on to the

Alternate reality

Of the pulsing energy

Is paradoxically draining

And invigorating.

Longing for every extra second

Of what is to come.

Tearing through the last

Layers of obstacles;

Exhale.

Two merge into one,

Accelerating the unity.

No breathing.

Convulsions

Are creating an earthquake

Inside the room;

Drowning in the waves

And embracing this death,

This little death.

A little longer


Eyes are open.

No more time;

It does not matter right now.

One moment.

Arms meet around

My shoulders;

Morning sunshine

Is still too weak.

Piano ritual.

It’s calling to go;

Limbs are too heavy.

The seconds before movement

Should last

Just a little longer;

A little more of you,

A little more of us.

After all,

It is what helps

To survive horrors

Of every day.

Aurora


Sing to me.

Sing the song of the painful past,

Of the irreversible damage,

The hot tears.

Captivating melody

Is making my heart ache

Like it has never done before.

Eyes open to a clear night sky

Strewn with stars.

I see you shine with them

Releasing blue streams;

Aurora reflecting in them

Takes me farther away

Into a place

Where there are only

Us and the song;

The beautiful song of tears

And pain.

Soon the melody will stop,

Leaving you and me

Looking into each other’s eyes,

Seeing the sky, the northern lights,

And eternity in them.