many things


I’ve been sick for 6 days already. My sick leave is over, tomorrow I gotta go to work. So, tomorrow will be the day of me sneezing and coughing on other people, because I haven’t recovered completely, but I can’t stay in the apt for any longer…

During the leave I’ve  thought about too many things and I bet I overthought  a crapload of unnecessary stuff…

My laptop has become something inseparable from me, I sleetpwith it next to me. Simply laying in bed and being inactive makes me anxious, I need to be doing something… Watching online lectures and enlightening myself alone doesn’t work. I started looking for different ways of making at least some kind of a change while staying at the same place. No luck so far.

Learning things makes me a little distracted, so this is what I cling to these days. Making changes within myself is much harder than I thought (duuuh, I’m such an idiot for even mentioning that, everybody knows that it’s freaking hard).

I feel kind of stupid, undeveloped; like I don’t know enough to be able to exist as a whole normal human being.

I am just a bunch of knowledge fragments scattered inside of myself.

Stuck. Lonely. I interact with people every day, but I do feel lonely. I complain too much.

I want an emotional shake that would sweep me off my feet and drag me into something exciting.

Yeah, I want too much I think. I think too much. Gotta stop thinking, that’d make everything around easier for sure.