alone

Glass


I’m spilling the letters
And leaving my ribcage open,
Spilling more and more,
Until every last tittle.
Stuck under the bell jar
That has too many cracks
To see anything else.
Screams are hammers
That are trying to smash
My way out.
Only cracks, one after another
I damage my last chance
Of seeing a clear sky.
Your words are sand
Escaping my fingers before
I can comprehend the pain
They leave on my skin.
The world will forsake you,
Forsake me.
I am still inside the bell jar,
Cracking the glass trying
To get out,
And losing every opportunity
To see your eyes
Absorbing mine.
So much self-destruction,
All in vain.
No last goodbyes,
No last glance,
You are soundproof.
The last bits of warmth
Are lost in the glass surface.
I am here. Alone.
And this is how it will remain.
Just like before.

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My worst enemy


Withering smiles,
The sunset  of my future.
I keep watching the wind
Taking the essence
Of what I am and used to be.
Pour the memories
Over my eyes;
It’s not tears,
Just the wind,
Cold wind.
I always tear up
When the wind is cold.
Your hands are the cello notes
That squeeze my heart
Every time the melody
Touches my ears.
I keep walking towards
The edge of the abyss
That tries to engulf me
With every touch,
Every look.
I end up being
My worst enemy,
Engaging into a fight with myself
Without a chance to win.
Sinking in the bog
Of my past,
Of your past.
So shift the gears,
Let the engine ignite.
And if it stalls,
I’d be the brake
That never works.
As always…

Time frames


Cutting the time frames

I try to put my memories back together.

None of them is mine,

Faces I see are unfamiliar.

Would I recognize your face

If it appeared on one of the frames?

I shut down,

No more memories.

The last thing I remember

Is trying to reach you

With a helping hand,

And watching you being engulfed

By the fire of pride.

I will create a story

Where you did not burn,

But were left behind;

Abandoned to contemplate your reflection

And the poison you have so willingly accepted.

Cutting the time frames,

I try to put my memories together.

This time, without the fire.

 

 

Enjoy


Notes are a scream,
A mayday that will never get a response.
The salty waters are engulfing
Whatever is left on display.
I am nothing but a shell
Of normality that existed
A long ago.
I beg for acceptance,
And yet avoid the eye contact.
I am the paradox living inside your head.
I am not real.
My fingers are fictional,
The touch affects only your online posts,
Which are not popular enough
To get the desired like count.
I exist only in your twisted dreams,
Hiding in the shades of your nightmares.
The darkest corners will never be seen;
I will go deeper,
And fake another cinematic smile for you.
Aren’t you happy?
It is just how you wa t it to be!
A happy smile,
A happy me.
A plastic world you have created
In your sad twisted dreams.
Well, enjoy…

Dust


I am the dust;

An invisible breeze,

A dream that you will forget.

I am always there;

In crowds and empty spaces.

Do I want to be seen?

I have always been the grayest of shadows,

Hiding behind the corner,

Watching.

Moving forward would dissolve me.

Sun would make me evaporate;

There is not enough of me

Even for a rain drop.

I will stay where I am

And wish for the impossible.

I am the dust;

An invisible breeze,

A dream that you will forget.

No more you


Sew your lips together

So noone can hear you scream,

The only thing to see will be a crooked smile.

Freeze your heart

So you can’t feel any pain,

No more warmth will radiate from your presence.

Let the soul leak out of your bleak eyes

And make everything around gray,

All that’s left will be emptiness.

Refuse the last straw of help

Push the hand away,

Keep telling yourself that lonely means free.

No more pressure,

No more danger,

No more pain,

No.

More.

You.

The story


You are a wonderous piece

Of my imagination;

I have created you

Out of a single thought,

An image stuck in my head.

Breathing between seconds,

Counting time between the heartbeats

I pray for you not to end.

An empty room:

I filled it with you.

Every letter of you

Creates a story,

A story of you.

And maybe me too.

Sentence by sentence,

It grows and fills the room.

Once the door opens,

The story will be over.

Will you be the one

To open the door

When there is no more space

For me in it?

I have built a throne

For my imagination

And let it rule the broken kingdom

Of my dreams,

But the crown

Will always be yours.

It is crafted from shadows in

The deepest corners of my mind,

But it still shines brighter than

Your eyes.

I have lost the game.

Hide-and-seek is over,

And I cannot run away

To hide again.

My inner voice is telling me

To stop.

Should I trust it?

I can feel it staring at me,

Demanding to open the door or look away.

The door…

Is the story over?

I cannot tell.

Pinch me, I think I am dreaming,

Because you do not exist.

You are just a wondrous piece

Of my imagination.