agony

Keep out

Empty days
With no space in between.
Every second filled with
A defective slideshow
Overflowing like
A sink with defective plumbing.
Did I do this?
Third person view,
Interstellar vibes,
No ability to change
The slide I am going down,
They are going down.
An overfilled stream
With no pause button,
Drop by drop
Until the dam bursts
For no reason
And kills the innocent.
Beat as calm
As a polygraph cheater
I step closer
Towards the volcano.
Hot air destroying the breath,
Pushing every step
That nobody wants to take.
This civilisation is already dead.
The screaming voices are still loud
And they know that the overall noise
Does not make a difference.
I can barely hear
The individual screams,
But the combined pain is
All mine,
Being deposited
Directly to me.
And I comply,
I keep it all
For no reason other than
Not knowing where else it can go.
The broken river
Becomes a stagnant pond
Kept at the very back,
Dragging every survivor
Inside.
No way out here.
Be smarter than them
And keep out.

Volcano

Uncontrollable forces –

Fire and smoke,

Water and wind;

Coming together

They decimate everything

On the way.

Beautiful destruction,

Enchanting horror,

Constricting sound.

Any step closer

Is a bad idea,

And yet you

Have started moving.

You are the smoke,

Blending with the steam,

Finding your way

Where you should not be.

I pull the thin, pretty threads

That wrap around your neck

And twist gently enough

To put your consciousness to sleep

And distract from the inevitable.

I am a volcano

That is about to erupt

And drag you under.

Substitute

Disfigured shadows,

Metal bars;

I am sentenced to an eternity

Inside of your mind.

So dry and colourless.

Oh, mama, mama…

How many times

Have you warned me

About the dangerous dreams!

I am stuck in one,

Looking at the starless sky,

Mixing tears with wine.

Ah, so replaceable!..

I have so many substitutes.

Wake me up!

Kick me out of your head for once,

Have mercy…

Let me awaken from the nightmare

I have staged.

Body frozen,

Forced to stare into one direction,

Why is everything so blurry all of a sudden?..

I will take my skin off

And put a smile on.

I will smile at you

And dissolve from your memory

Along with the last drop.

Ah, so replaceable…

Read my mind

I’m as useless as a dry camellia

Lying on the window sill.

Looking over the city lights

I drain the last of my hopes

Outside the tall building window.

My thoughts are carving calligraphic letters

Out on my bones and muscles.

Every curve and every stroke

Of my mind’s deadly brush

Makes me want to scratch my own brain out

And eat it while I’m still conscious.

Morbid eyes are getting deeper

As they let your enchantment through.

Melody of agony is so bitter,

And yet so beautiful,

Just like those little moments

When you’re holding a sharp shiny knife in your hand.

Cut me open, tear the flesh from my bones,

And read my mind.