feelings

A lonely boat

The sunset after the storm;
Witnessing the destruction aftermath
On the supposed brand new
Cardboard cities
And concrete towns.
An all-round blush palette
On the sky;
I go back to an empty lake,
Surprisingly not filled
With debris.
I get into the boat
(Dragged all the way here in advance)
And try to use the paddles
For the first time.
Tricky movements,
But I remain stable.
I am not looking
For anything lost,
Only admiring the nature.
This location has been
On my bucket list
For a while,
Just because.
So hard to paddle
When the upper body strength
Is no longer the same.
Not long till the middle
So I can feel the majestic
Mountain lake
That still fulfils
The advertisement promise.
Nobody around to see
The clear water,
The nature preserving
Itself.
Unusual;
The lack of crowds
Is changing the experience.
I have reached the middle.
The memories of the storm
Come back for a moment:
The winds unscrewing
The spruces from the earth
Have printed an image
In my brain,
But now there is quiet.
Only the river flowing
From the glaciers;
Almost like everybody is
Respecting my privacy for once.
The cold waters remind
Of the joyful times
And tourist traps
I would have loved to see
Right now.
But it is just me;
Just a lonely boat.
I am where I need to be
And I see the flaws
Of nature.
There is still time.
I finally get to the perfect centre.
Do you feel the energy?
Do you know
What this is about?
Breathing aligns with
The wind and summit currents
And I can finally
Inhale at my
Full lung capacity.
Panic times are finished.
No more hyperventilating,
Only calm.
I hold on to the edge of the boat,
Having forgotten the balance
In the chaos.
Paying attention
To the center of gravity,
And jumping in.
Finally embracing the cold
The way I should have
A while ago,
And breathing in the clear lake
All the way this time.
Sinking deeper
Than the storm had touched,
Feeling the pristine.
The final notes will be
Exactly the way
I had imagined,
Leaving nothing behind,
But a lonely boat.

Always

Drowning in hopelessness,

Hiding the pain inside;

Indicators are concealed,

But I see.

The weight on you is

Painful for both of us;

Every regret

Has it’s own scale,

Overflowing the jar

Of tears.

Two halves

Of different bodies

Are linked too much

To ignore the sensation.

The loss,

The disappointment,

The desperation-

All of it falls

Right into place

And dissppears

Upon skin contact

And soothing voice.

A moment or an eternity ,

The embrace is an escape.

Identifying as mirror;

Our scars

Match in every right place

Like puzzle pieces.

So precise it scares.

Shattered happiness,

Comfort of the hands,

Calmness at the fingertips,

Salvation in the presence;

I will be there to pick up the shards

And put them together,

Ignoring the cuts,

Holding the embrace.

Always there,

Always for you.

Precious

The silver mirrors

Have stopped showing my face;

Instead I see sapphires in my eyes.

I see the biggest heart

Pumping warm blood,

Crucified soul

That has been resurrected

By the sweet kiss of redemption.

The sacred union,

The perfect symbiosis of souls.

The hand that helped me open my eyes,

Offering the life,

Offering the love.

I long to merge into one,

Into the precious eyes

That see the world for what it is,

That will be a part of us,

Knowing the real human feelings.

A part of you,

A part of me;

Love.

Safe place

When snow and rain take turns

And angry people cross the wet roads,

I imagine you.

Overflowing with velvet feelings

I sink into the lilac dreams

Where we are alone.

The softest touch sinks me

Into the sacred area

Of my safe place.

Secluded forests and mountain tops,

Mysterious caves and the sunshine

Playing with rainbows in the waterfalls;

I have let you in.

We walk while holding hands

And allow the amazement overwhelm

Our hungry for excitement minds.

Rainbow waterfalls,

Lilac dreams,

We are alone.

You are with me.

You are my safe place.